Think twice before you put your pen to paper...

Yeah...I have been trying my hand at writing quite a lot over the last month. I realized that my writing skills suck (no wonder no one reads my blog). My spellchecker is hopelessly corrupt and I definitely do not have a strong grasp on the intricasies of english grammar. I also found that my technical skills suck. Yes...this is going to be a post of endless self-realizations and puking...Plz skip this post...Its meant to be a vent for my vesuvious.
Of all the things, I still do not get the spelling of tomorrow (I hope its right now..), nor do I get the spelling of focused(The number of s's definitely gets me..).
I also find that my confidence levels on the command over the english language have been dropping. Definitely not a good sign for english is going to be my exclusive communication medium for quite some time in the near future. I guess this happens to everyone when they embark on their writing ventures (yeah..the usual excuse). I seriously thought that I was a good communicator in english until recently. Man this post sucks..I have cribbed so much that even my keyboard has stopped responding to me.
I have always been a jealous guy all my life..yes..yet another self revelation. Being content has never been my way of life. Looking up to guys around me and trying to compete with them, has been my birth trait. Life used to be so peaceful when I was a kid and never understood the word "life". It is only education and "growing up" that have instilled a reason for life and hence poisoned my innocent happiness.
Inspite of all these ramblings, I am still not satisfied with whatever is happening. I somehow feel that I have been lucky to get along so far in life. Maybe I do not deserve to be where I am. I definitely love where I am and what I am doing but whether I am worthy of all this. Life has never felt this way for me...Somehow I feel that I have gotten too far ahead of myself in this race for life.