same old new year celebrations

It is New year's eve and party freaks have gathered in the downtown to usher in the new year in the usual manner. I had a funny feel this year that new year is not something to take lightly coz it marks the end of an year. It is the event that marks that you have wasted one more year of your life doing basically nothing. New year is a sign that you are getting old. I do not generally crib about the new year but this feeling seems to have surfaced in the hearts of many people this year. It could be a general psycological phenomenon. It is true that one must feel happy for having had experienced an year of their life and celebrate that in the new year mood. But somehow the downsides seem to outweigh the upsides.

At every point in life I had been looking forward for the next big thing in life. When I was a kid I wanted to get to high school. Once in high school, I always counted the days to the end of the academic year. Once in college I wanted semesters to get over as soon as possible. But suddenly I want time to freeze. This may seem like running from responsibilities of work and family, but I cant refrain from admitting these feelings.

Life is great, If time freezes at your happiest moment. Somehow the human mind tends to forget all the nice things that has happened to it over time and looks forward to the next biggest thing. There is always the saying that self-content is the secret to happiness, but somehow one never seems to give up from looking for the next biggest thing.

As time progresses, I somehow feel that I may not achieve what I wanted in Life and have to settle for something. This feeling has overshadowed this new year celebrations. The other thing is that I am not sure as to what I want to achieve. Being the best in anything is simply unachievable, I am always going to be that some active guy in some area. Then what is it that I am looking for. Sheesh....wouldn't it be great If everyone knew precisely what they had to accomplish in their life and work for that?

Somehow the purpose of life seems to have not been written down properly. This came out from random discussions with my friends. What are we working ahead for? I mean even animals are living a happy life, why are we unnecessarily building stuff when we can live life as it is. These are never going to be answered. What have we gained over the ancient civilizations...what will our future civilizations gain over us. It is not clear If we have advanced...If so.. in what respect? Somehow the preachings on self-content seem to be conflicting with these advances that we are making with technology.

After a lot of arbit, unconnected ramblings...its time for me to signoff....I have a preemptible kernel in hand now...

Signing offf